Dancing In The Dark

There is a beautiful, full moon out tonight.  I am exhausted and actually don’t feel like writing.  However, at exactly the same time I have some really creative energy buzzing around in my head.  If my roommate were not asleep in her room at this moment, I think I would be banging around on my guitar.  As it is, the time is nearly 2:30 am, I have played a little, watched Stranger Than Fiction, and thought to myself, “It’s been forever since I blogged anything at all,” and so here I am.

Not much has changed since my last note, except for having moved, gone one tour, unpacked, am about to move again, one of my best friends celebrated her 10 year wedding anniversary, one of my other best friends is about to celebrate her birthday, I am about to celebrate my birthday, I have made a slew of new friends, am about to start 2 new Artist Way groups as a co-facilitator with the intent on writing some new curriculum in conjunction with it, have finished a new song I’d been working on for 2 years, and I have started dancing nearly once a week as an outlet for joy.  Phew.  For a minute there I lost myself.

To say the very least, I am in the process of being reborn in a completely new way.  I have been focused on personal healing for the last 2 years in a very intense way.  And finally, I am discovering myself again.  Really and truly.  I am not meeting myself as a stranger, as I have in the past, or discovering myself in shades and versions of who I used to be.  Rather, I am finding myself wholly me again.  Probably for the first time since my dad died.  And it is coming with surprising results.  Like this one:  I like Nashville.

It started with having come back home from the winter tour and really melting down into a ball there for a while.  I began to feel like I needed to start going to a dance night that The 5 Spot hosts here in East Nashville.  It seemed to me that I needed an outlet for my joy.  I tend to be an overly serious person if I allow myself to stay in that place.  I felt that I have such a strong gift for joy that I needed to spend some time in that place of joy and I would find myself really blossoming as a result of it.  I have to say that the results are continuously palpable.  Suddenly I felt hope like I have not experienced in a long time.  My art is thriving as a result of it, my social life is thriving, and I am bursting back to life in what feels like a really great way.  I am intensely excited.

I have new vision for music, new hope that people will begin to appear who can help me with the business side of things so that I can focus acutely on the artistic direction of every aspect, and new hope that soon I will be out of debt and traveling the world again.  There are new opportunities on the horizon that I am not yet free to speak of, and a new album to finish.  I feel hope and confidence for the first time in years and I am so thankful for it.  I have even begun to tell my friends that I have been brought out of hiding and I am not kidding when I say this.

Anyway – There is more to come.  I am sure of it.  More to say.  But it’s been so long since there was steady and complete hope, coupled with joy, that I thought it was note-worthy.

I will be playing Tomorrow, Tuesday, April 19, 2011 – At my place of employment The Family Wash.  Cole Slivka will be opening the evening, followed by some of my best friend’s in the world from Fresno, CA, The Old Tire Swingers, Tom Mason will be next (who plays amazing piratey music “Arrrr!”), then myself and my cello player, Tim, followed immediately by The Carpet Baggers (my boss’s band).  It’s going to be a fun night.  I will have made fresh deserts (Chocolate Molten Cake, Crème Brule, and Browned Butter Cupcakes).  It will also be pint and pie night (Shepherd’s Pie and a pint of beer for 10 bux). 

I would love to see you there.

Not my most well written note ever but now it’s bed time.

Xo

Kat Jones